I recently encountered a former colleague, younger in practice than I am, but suffering from the same malady. “Do you ever feel like you overthink everything?” she asked me as the CLE attendees around us filled their coffee cups during a mid-afternoon break. How can it be that some 15 years apart in practice, we are experiencing the same muddy emotions that are slowing down our work progress? “Yes, I have,” I answered, matching her level of angst.
As you start reading, take a moment to think: How often do you find yourself caught in a loop of thoughts, struggling to make a decision or move forward?”
Overthinking
Overthinking, sometimes termed “decision paralysis,” is a persistent issue that hinders productivity. Recognizing that many of my attorney colleagues likely face this too, I wanted to delve into what overthinking is and how we can combat it.
What is Overthinking?
“Overthinking” is unwanted, usually circular thoughts about an issue that seems vexing in their lack of resolution. Imagine my mind spinning endlessly on a roulette wheel with the little ball refusing to land anywhere. I want it to land, but sometimes, it just keeps spinning, refusing to settle on one slot.
In psychological parlance, “overthinking” is dubbed a “learned strategy that we choose, consciously or unconsciously, as a way to try to deal with our difficult thoughts and feelings.” While overthinking is common—affecting 50-75% of adults—it’s also a habit that can be unlearned with practice.
Psychologists identify three types of overthinking: rumination, future-tripping, and overanalyzing.
- Rumination: Replaying past events, often with regret.
- Future-Tripping: Worrying excessively about potential future events, usually with negative predictions.
- Overanalyzing: Getting so bogged down in details that making decisions becomes impossible.
Can you identify a recent situation where you felt stuck in a cycle of overthinking? Was it more about a past event, a future concern, or getting lost in the details? Identifying your type of overthinking can help you find the best ways to overcome it.
Strategies for minimizing overthinking.
Which of your current worries or decisions could benefit from a new approach? Keep this in mind as you read through the strategies.
a. Schedule your worry time.
The most frequently cited strategy for minimizing overthinking is to schedule a regularly scheduled worry time and allow yourself to worry and ruminate without limit during that time. Make the most of your worry time by writing down everything you are worried about. Designate a day and time, set a timer, and then stick to it.
During this regularly scheduled worry time, train yourself to analyze the worrisome thoughts. Ask yourself, “is this something I can control?” If it is, this scheduled time is an excellent opportunity to brainstorm an action plan. Should you consult with a friend or colleague or LCL? Should you limit your commitments to other things to free up time for an important project? This scheduled worry and brainstorm session will result in concrete action steps that you can take, rather than continuing to dwell upon the unanswered question.
If you answer “no” to the control question, then it’s time to let it go. Strike a line through it and make note that it has to be moved to someone else’s list, not yours. I know some people who actually have a small box labeled, “B.T.A ,” meaning, “belongs to another. ” The physical act of putting the worry into that box flips a switch and lets you really recognize that it does not belong to you for solving.
Finally, setting a “worry time” and sticking to it, will also likely take the steam out of the bothersome thoughts. They not only are postponed to a scheduled time, but thoughts “that seemed highly relevant and important in the morning will often seem less important” when you get to your scheduled worry time. The effect is both immediate and delayed; the circular thoughts lose their hold on you because you have postponed their consideration, and their edges dull with the passage of time.
Try this now: If you were to set aside a specific ‘worry time,’ what concerns would you address first? How might this approach change the way you manage your daily stressors?
b. Write it down.
You have undoubtedly heard before that journaling can be a highly beneficial practice for obtaining better emotional regulation. It’s true. This can be used as a stand-alone strategy or in conjunction with scheduled worry time. The point of it is to get the worry down on paper—verbatim– so you can test its accuracy. “Verbatim” simply means, write it down exactly as you are telling it to yourself. Some thought that might attract our attention, e. g., “I am going to mess this up and it’s important,” may bear no relationship to fact or your history. Writing it down allows you to test it for accuracy. Ask yourself, “what is my evidence of this belief?” If there isn’t any, or if evidence is solidly to the contrary, you simply write that down and let your mind rest there. Then reframe the thought in a more positive way acknowledging the underlying concern, (I’m worried I’ll mess this up), but more realistically addressing it. For example, “I can see that I want to do an excellent job on this project and thankfully, I have every reason to believe that will occur. I have a consistent history of doing good work and making my topics understandable. The odds are decidedly in my favor.” So much of the energy in worry relates to its elusiveness; we cannot seem to pin it down. Journaling allows for a more accurate answer to come to the surface and be known.
Try this now: Write down a thought that has been bothering you. What evidence supports it? What evidence contradicts it? How do you feel after reframing it?
c. “Good enough.”
“Good enough” is particularly effective strategy when you find yourself obsessing over a project but cannot wrap it up because you are worried it’s not yet “perfect,” or when you’re contemplating a life choice, e. g., a job relocation, but your brain is awash in a myriad of eventualities.
“Good enough” involves setting an established criteria and measuring your project against it. If you have fulfilled those predetermined standards, the project is complete, or the decision is made even if you feel like there might possibly be a better answer. For those of us who lean toward perfectionism, “good enough” can provided a clearly defined stopping point and accompanying mental breathing space. Since you set the criteria yourself, you can select standards that hold significance to you and the project before you. “Good enough” then shines as a flexible tool to overcome overthinking.
Try this now: Is there a project or decision in your life that you’ve been overthinking because you’re striving for perfection? What would ‘good enough’ look like in this situation?
d. Zoom out.
Zooming out involves taking stock of the current situation in the context of a much larger picture. As a lawyer who has managed many cases, I have had what I gently refer to as a couple of “near misses.” In other words, I almost made a significant error and have made many small mistakes during representation. If ever there was a perfect catalyst for a case of overthinking, it was these near miss events. I can, after all, examine my mistakes and near mistakes with microscopic precision. But is that fair?
If instead I think across time, across the 27 years I’ve practiced and the thousands of strategic decisions I’ve made, most of which have been mostly sound if not downright good, my near misses and mistakes lose their sting. Zooming out lets me see all my decisions in the correct context, one that is colored with swings and misses, and a few home runs.
Try this now: Think about a time when you became overly focused on a mistake or potential mistake. How might ‘zooming out’ and seeing the broader context have changed your perspective?
These strategies are just a start. Whether you choose to schedule your worry time, journal, practice different mindsets, or zoom out, I hope one of these approaches will help you manage overthinking in your practice. Of course, sometimes worry needs another set of eyes when it feels unmanageable or interferes with your work or personal life. LCL will be happy to work with you to find the resources you need all in a completely confidential setting.