Building connection, belonging, and a reliable support network. Contributing to our groups and communities.
Connect Like Your Health Depends on It (because it does)
By Judie Rush, LCL
Day One’s Well-Being Blog on Physical Well-Being demonstrates how interrelated the aspects of well-being are: engaging in physical activities with others serves your physical well-being as well as your need for connection and belonging. The blog’s footnotes supply the proof that one’s health literally depends on connection and belonging.
Given the very real negative health impacts of isolation and loneliness, we have every incentive to build connections with others. Everyone needs and wants connection and belonging—we are wired for it. And it starts simply by engaging with another human. It can be casual – brief, positive, encouraging, or it can be deeper, more frequent, and part of an established relationship that sustains us and continues to benefit those involved.
Start with an awareness of the need for and the benefit of connection. It is natural to care, be interested, and show empathy for others. To borrow from Jon Kabat-Zinn, do it mindfully: pay attention to others, on purpose, in the present moment, nonjudgmentally. Put down your phone or other distraction. Put yourself out there. Seek out a mentor or be a mentor. Be a colleague or a friend, share a compliment or honest praise, offer a hand, inquire, support, or a word that may bring joy to someone. Your actions will likely be reciprocated or at least appreciated, and you get the benefit.
So why are we the loneliest profession?
We’re busy. Sometimes we feel like we can barely take time to breathe much less spend time interacting with others (especially those friends we have not met yet). Yet both are necessary to our well-being. Doing either can provide a break, a boost, a spark. And it’s difficult not to learn something from interacting with another person.
We may fear a negative response or indifference. It happens sometimes, but the effort is still worthwhile and benefits us. Try not to take it personally since it is not a reflection on you but more a reflection of how the other person is feeling. Perhaps you’ve planted a seed.
We may feel uncomfortable or disingenuous. Moving out of our comfort zones can be challenging. We vary in the amount of energy we gain or expend in interpersonal relationships. Yet we need connection like we need other sustenance. To move out of our comfort zones is to learn and grow, nourishing our intellectual well-being.
Connection and the belonging and the health benefits flowing from connection benefits you. We all need self-care. And connection benefits others. We are better as a profession when we care for each other. Being in relation to others, engaging in mutual care[1], allows us to know if someone is not okay and puts us in a position to help – reach out a hand, a smile, a compliment, help.
Not everyone enjoys meeting new people at professional events. Instead, seek out natural connections in the spaces where you feel authentic and where you spend your time. In your workplace (your firm, organization, association, or the greater profession– at the courthouse or legislature, where you teach, in your practice groups) or outside your work environment, where you exercise, pray, study, drink coffee.
Today is a great day to make a commitment to connect. Your well-being depends on it.
[1] See Natalie Netzel, Better Together: Toward a Mutual-Care Approach to Practicing Law” (Minnesota Bench & Bar, Vol. 30(9) 19 (November 2023)