Despite how often our lives are changing, it can still be difficult to understand how certain changes will impact us, even when we see them coming. For example, when I think of things like holiday light displays, gatherings with friends and family, and curling up by the fire to watch an endless supply of Hallmark Christmas movies, I think of the pure joy I’ve always associated with this time of year. The reality is that this holiday season feels a bit heavier with the passing of my dad and a few other recent life changes. While I knew this adjustment would not be easy, I’m still surprised at times by how hard it has been (and I don’t think I’m alone in experiencing this).
If this is a season of change for you –perhaps the first holiday season since losing a parent or loved one, getting a divorce, entering recovery, or enduring any other major life transition –my heart is with you as you learn to live in a world that probably feels a bit disorienting. Despite how heavy it can feel to think about what the next few weeks will bring, there are a few things we can do to help make the transition just a little bit lighter.
First, I encourage you to ask yourself, “what are some of the difficult moments that I can already see coming?” These might include things like specific holiday gatherings, family traditions, or annual events that have unique memories tied to them.
Next, spend a few minutes coming up with a few ideas for how you can support yourself if you find yourself struggling in those moments. For example, if you’re at a gathering and feel deep emotions building, have a plan for how you can politely excuse yourself for a few minutes (or more) to get a breath of fresh air, walk around the block, or even leave entirely if that’s what you need to ground yourself. Other times having someone on speed dial who you can call and talk to can make a world of difference and help you feel supported in that moment.
It’s important to have these plans in place for the feelings you can see coming, but it’s even more important to have them so that you’re prepared for the ones you can’t see coming –the wave of grief that unexpectedly crushes you while doing an activity you love, the song on the radio that unleashes a flood of fond memories, or a moment of stress that challenges your recovery.[1] We often can’t stop these feelings from coming to the surface, but we can have a plan to lessen their impact on us.
If any of this resonates with you, please know you are not alone. This year has been tough for a lot of folks, myself included. Please give yourself grace as you learn to familiarize yourself with and work through the changes this year has brought you.
If you need someone to talk to or would like to discuss some additional resources to help you navigate this holiday season, please reach out to LCL. As a reminder, we are here to support lawyers, judges, law students, all MN legal professionals and immediate family members with free and confidential support for any issue causing stress or distress.
We wish you all a wonderful holiday season filled with peace, warmth, and support in all areas of your life!
[1] For additional tips on coping with grief during the holidays, click here to read Grief During the Holidays: How to Cope, Mass General Brigham (November 29, 2024).
For guidance on maintaining sobriety during the holidays, click here to read How to Stay Sober During the Holidays When You’re Feeling Alone, Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation (October 19, 2025).